Although the city of Amsterdam still bravely clings on to the brand-image as ultimate party-city, we’ve recently dropped down one whopping point on the Lonely Planet Top 10 Best City list; #2. Just before the awesome city of Hyderabad (?). As much as this fact gives me a very welcome reason to write this column, it does hurt. I’ve always hugely liked our leading brand-image because it makes me look real badass to foreigners. Also, it attracts that awesome kind of people that don’t give a shit about wearing pants. But most of all: Amsterdam has always had the ambition and potential to put our cute little country on the overwhelmingly huge map. More…

As a vain woman I have been feeling really offended by some of the ads that target my vagina as – an unwilling – prospect. The vajayjay has become big business on TV the past years. To be fair: Advertising has always been notorious for telling women that their bodies are unclean. But recently the vagina has blossomed into a real prime-time matter.

Has it ever occurred to the advertisers that women might find this sort of ads for feminine hygiene products to be dreadfully embarrassing and annoying? More…

For this column I’ve sought for inspiration extensively but found absolutely none. But since I signed up for this job I get no money for, I have to deliver. So I decided to dedicate one full night of my precious 12 hours a day of tellytime to analyze some of the current commercials I’ll come across. Got my bottle of wine and my bag of Special Limited Edition Supreme Sweet&Salty Thai Chili Chicken flavored popcorn ready, so here I go: More…

Hey Marleen! I love your columns, so great to finally meet you.

“Thank you. Anything for my loyal readers.”

I’ve been a huge fan of your work for years now. I think it’s freaking awesome to see how your persona has developed from the early columns – when you were simply writing about your mom on a bike, your fishes on vitamins, and similar slice of life happenings – towards the later columns, wherein you are talking about your view on advertising. And how socially inept you feel in the industry you want so desperately to be accepted in, for that matter. More…

Meanwhile, in Holland, the Orange Fever has hit the masses like a real trooper of a virus. Orange Fever -‘Oranjekoorts’- is our word for the madness that occurs during the European Soccer Cup, and other huge sporting events. Everyone and everything is drenched in orange. Clothes, faces, babies, bars and even entire streets. We are clearly social animals that like to herd. I’m dreading to admit, but I used to be in the herd. Two years ago I had a severe case of Oranjekoorts. After we lost the WC final against Sp%#n I actually got into a huge fight for having thrown a glass of water (vodka) towards (in the face of) a Spanish guy (girl). My dear Albert-Heijn Beesies were severely damaged, the red-white-blue flag on my cheek was dramatically smeared out because of the tears I’d shed and my Bavaria dress was drenched in beer and other bodily fluids: In short, I was a complete mess. More…

I love the ADCN Award-night. I really do. I think it’s awesome. It’s just pretty sweet to watch really nicely dressed-up people with little spots of red wine on their white shirts and smeared out lipstick on chins and bald heads. It’s fun to see. And participate in, obviously. Because I didn’t wear red lipstick for nothing. It’s important to have a strategic plan once you’re in. First, I always befriend the photographer. So he will re-do my picture at least 3 times, until I am satisfied with the result. Cause – damn it – there is a lot of serious competition out there. Secondly you should aim for the bar right after. More…

In my heart and liver I feel that I am ‘a Creative’. One can differ whether I am a good one or not; but most creatives are insecure, so whatever. But: I have worked as ‘that girl from Account’ for one and a half years. I wasn’t very good at it, but it did give me a different and useful perspective on my beloved Advertising World. Here it is: Being an Account person sucks. Big time. Because you can NEVER do well. You ALWAYS do something wrong. It’s like being a chameleon on a CMYK-rainbow. Of course, there are some exceptions to my eloquently formulated rule, but for an inexperienced AE, life can be tough. Unless you work at an amazing agency, for that matter -which I obviously did, because I still miss all of them. More…

About half a year ago I gave up being a smoker. Apart from the fact that for a while a lot of things seemed to trigger a great sense of aggression – like crammed trams, hard-to-open cans and small dogs – it feels great not to be smoker anymore. Especially at the moment, for as I am writing this in California. In California they treat smokers as the enemy. They treat them as criminals. Cold-blooded killers, even. I won’t get into detail on the extreme bans of the butts in social life, but I do want to talk a little about the anti-smoking campaigns that you are forced to watch forty-seven times during a Judge Judy rerun.

More…