Yesterday, Apple introduced the iPad mini. Apparently it’s a thinner, lighter iPad design that fits in one hand… It sounds ingenious. It fact, it sounds remarkably like a big iPhone. But now we’re confused. Only last month, Apple unveiled the 6th generation iPhone that comes with a larger screen. So, with expanding iPhones and contracting iPads, will there be a device convergence? iPhad… or iFad?

Why doesn’t Apple deliver a real innovation? Like an iPhone integrated with an electric razor, or a version that doubles as a taser? Is it too much to ask Jonathan Ive to devise a product with a better battery life, or more durable and waterproof casing?

On the other hand, to take a literal analogy, perhaps it’s just another ploy by the World’s Richest Company© to fill our skinny jeans with even more hi-tech gadgetry. If we don’t buy more stuff – then the economy stagnates yet further, the PIGS don’t get another bailout and Santa will give our kids a massive FU.

Perhaps it’s just another ploy by the World’s Richest Company© to fill our skinny jeans with even more hi-tech gadgetry

After two decades of using ‘Macs’, it feels almost sacrilegious to question Apple. This one-time Silicon Valley upstart lit the torch of the desktop revolution, and in the process enabled many of our careers in the creative sector. The company gave us user-friendly computers and useless free stickers of its logo. We too were indoctrinated by the prophesies of the messianic Steve Jobs. His uniform of black turtle-neck and ill-fitting blue jeans reminded us of the local priest on a day off. Each annual sermon, or keynote address, delivered some bombastic revelation. Luckily, the only abuse was of common sense. As Jobs rallied the Mac faithful, he sold some neat stuff. To paraphrase him, we didn’t know what we wanted until he showed it to us. One year, the innovation was the secret side door of the G3 (1999), another time it was a hockey puck mouse (1998). The best was probably Bono’s chiseled profile emanating from an iPod (2004). Job’s untimely death only perpetuates the Apple cult.

His uniform of black turtle-neck and ill-fitting blue jeans reminded us of the local priest on a day off

Meanwhile, the free newspaper columns continue to amaze. Since when did the merits of a thinner, faster and lighter piece of technology push the importance of a thinner, faster and lighter Jennifer Lopez off the front page? Even the US Election coverage is relegated to page 5. The free publicity that Apple gets dwarfs the paid advertising of its competitors. Meanwhile, we witness that odd cultural phenomenon of sweaty geeks queuing outside Apple stores… Only Apple can pull this absurd pantomime off. The Emperor’s new clothes? iFad, indeed.