Queen Beatrix announced her abdication rather unexpectedly on Monday evening, leaving the velvet hot-seat to Crown-Prince Willem-Alexander. The news has inspired one huge ‘KA-CHING!’ from Dutch retailers. As we write, many have already switched into commemorative merchandise overdrive. Long live the bling!

Expect a deluge of seriously tacky memorabilia. Kitsch mugs, t-shirts, tea towels, metal tins, flags, fridge-magnets and anything else that can be adorned with Willem-Alexander’s head, or his crown jewels. The former Prince Pils. That fat-fair-skinned and floppy-fringed one. And if we’re lucky, all these crappy souvenirs will be delivered on time for Queen’s Day. The final one before they rename this annual orgy of plastic beer cups King’s Day. Nice name for an ad agency. Not.

Expect a deluge of seriously tacky memorabilia

Talking of naff, expect loads of dumb advertising. Dutch agencies will get to play the court jester and entertain us with a melody of Royal-themed ads. The usual suspects of beer, spectacles, insurance, peanut butter and pizza will all try to capitalize on the festivities. Even the pink ‘tompoes’ will get a makeover. Long live the cream!

Oranje Boven. Long live carrots, pumpkins and perma-tan. This Orange-fever is only getting started. But let’s not be too scoffing, or even dare to claim that royalty is an anachronism in the 21st Century. We are told that the celebrations will bring a much needed boost to the economy – and that a smile will adorn the face of all subjects of the Kingdom of the Netherlands. Long live the King! Hooray, Hooray, Hooray.